AfterCare FAQs

Everyone grieves in their own way; however, there are some questions that are commonly asked about grief and the mourning process.

1. “What is grief?”
Grief is the normal response of sorrow, emotion, and confusion that comes from losing someone or something important to you. It is a natural part of life. Grief is a typical reaction to a loss such as death.

2. “How long can I expect my grief to last?”
Grief lasts as long as it takes you to accept and learn to live with your loss. For some people, grief lasts a few months. For others, grieving may take years. The length of time spent grieving is different for each person. There are many reasons for the differences, including personality, health, coping style, culture, family background, and life experiences. The time spent grieving also depends on your relationship with the person lost and how prepared you were for the loss.

3 “How does grief feel?”
Just after a death, you may feel empty and numb, as if you are in shock. You may notice physical changes such as trembling, nausea, trouble breathing, muscle weakness, dry mouth, or trouble sleeping and eating.You may become angry at a situation, a particular person, or just angry in general. Almost everyone in grief also experiences guilt. Guilt is often expressed as “I should have” and “I wish I would have” statements.People in grief may have strange dreams or nightmares, be absent-minded, withdraw socially, or lack the desire to return to work. While these feelings and behaviors are normal during grief, they will pass.

4. “Am I going crazy?”
It may certainly feel like it at times! The journey through grief can be so radically different from our everyday realities that we doubt our sanity. Remember you are not crazy, you are grieving! Listed below are several ways you might feel like you are going crazy but they are normal common reactions to losing a loved one.

a. Inability to keep time; sense of past and future may seem to be frozen in place

b. Compulsion to focus only on your own thought and feelings; no concern for problems of others.

c. Constant re-thinking and re-telling of circumstances surrounding the death of loved one.

d. Sudden changes of mood.

e. Feeling powerless and helpless.

f. Sudden sharp feelings of grief that cause anxiety and pain.

g. Crying and sobbing a lot

h. Like to hold, be near; look at, sleep with, caress, or even smell a special belonging of the person who died.

i. Dreaming a lot about the person who died.

j. May have a mystical experience such as feeling the presence of the person who died.

5. “Are there stages of grief?”
No, not really. Grief does not follow a linear pattern, it is more like a roller coaster, two steps forward and one step back. Ultimately people manage to integrate the experience to the point of having a new life arising from the old. The loss remains and is always remembered, but the intensity is no longer disabling or disorganizing.